Stories about experiencing the great love have been around for centuries. We're exposed to idealistic soul mate scenarios in books, movies and magazines all the time. We see things through the eyes of the media and think, "I want that!" and "I wish someone would feel that way about me". It's not just those beautiful love stories we hear about. It's also the pressure from outside sources such as family members or seeing everyone else settling down that can make the singles out there wonder, "Why not me?"
Believe it or not, the two most common questions I receive during a love reading are, "Am I just wasting my time?" and "Is he/she worth it?" instead of "When will I meet the person that's in my highest good?" I believe those common two have the answer within the question. If you are asking to begin with, the answer is an unequivocal NO. No, it's not worth it if you have to do the following:
* Beg for someone to be there for you
* Wish that someone would call you and wait for weeks, months or years
* Wonder when someone will break up with someone else
* Put on a show to make someone believe you're their type
* Do something radical to get commitment you want
If you're with someone who loves you for who you really are they will be there, call you and commit without you having to do much at all. There won't be that push me, pull you connection. There won't be any crazy drama between the two of you. In general, there's always something going on in our lives that could result in drama, but I'm not talking about that. I'm referring mostly to the back and forth relationships which could result in unnecessary heartache and pain. Unnecessary being the operative word here.
Great Expectations and the Fairy Tale
What is the fairy tale, exactly? I've seen a few different scenarios that fit the description and they are as follows:
1- The return of the long-lost love
When we're single it's easy to go back in time and feel nostalgic over a long-lost love. That one person who we could've been with, but got away. I believe that holding on to someone from the past for an extended period of time does nothing but prevent one from living. I would know, I've done it. When I finally realized that holding on to this person wasn't doing me any good, my life transformed dramatically.
2- The back and forth love that ultimately leads to marriage/commitment
This is the most popular scenario I'm presented with during readings. They're here, they disappear and then show up again. I've yet to see anyone in this situation express gratitude and happiness while going through the back and forth. Is it possible that one could get what they want after all is said and done? Sure. Is it probable? Nope. The reason I say no is because of the following:
a- You wouldn't be going back and forth if the relationship was real and stable to begin with.
b- There wouldn't be a back and forth if both parties truly accepted one another for who they are.
c- One or both parties have unrealistic expectations and want the other to make all the changes
The worst thing in the world for me is having to give a reading on the back and forth. Even if I see the individuals having the possibility of a long-term relationship in the end, there's usually A LOT of change and growth that needs to occur before anything good could come out of the situation. What I do in those cases is tell the client what I see, but also advise them to be realistic. That's a general statement, of course. I do my readings case by case without judgment and I don't carry stereotypical views.
3- The instant connection when two people meet
The dream that two people can meet and instantly know it's forever. I don't believe in this personally. To be honest, I've never received information for any client that this scenario will happen for them and I've been doing this work for many years. I do, however, believe in instant chemistry and/or infatuation.
It's another example of having great expectations. It is said that you don't really know someone until you've been with them for a year and a day without any breaks. I agree with that statement and I also think that it can take longer, depending on the situation. Sure, we all have intuition, but wishful thinking and loneliness can drive one to believe something they can't prove immediately. I'm a psychic who has been very successful in reading my own life and even I missed the boat when I first met my partner. Believe me when I say that this particular fairy tale is just that...a fairy tale.
The nice thing about the media's perception of love and relationships is that they offer a great deal of hope. We all need hope in our lives to proceed forward with our dreams and goals, but when does hope become a hindrance to achieving them? There is such a thing as false hope and nobody wants to experience that. You know you're living in that situation when you're not getting what you want from another person naturally.
Try This Instead...
Seeking love based on the fairy tale is like being someone you're not and trying to live someone else's life. Taking this route never produces positive results. I believe that everyone deserves to be happy and can achieve that if they're honest with themselves. Who are you? What type of relationship do you really want? If you're clear about those two things and are not trying to fit into some idealistic mold or change another person, you'll have greater chances of ending up in a situation that will actually work and last.
Create a life that's real and you'll have a fairy tale of your own to share.